I think everyone has significant moments in their life. Moments that have shaped us and made us who we are, and often, these are not too happy of memories. It’s such a tragedy that our lives encounter terrible heartache, yet it’s how we grow and mature. It’s almost Thanksgiving, and while most of the time we are focused on family and delicious foods, I think it’s important during this time to look back at the moments that have shaped us. What you’ll find, and it’s something that I myself have found, is that these key moments, good and bad, have shaped us into a stronger person than we once were. I titled this post the way I did because I think living a life full of thanks, allows us to have deep joy and love well.
“Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Luke 6:31
There’s a special feeling that comes when someone treats you in an incredibly kind way. This past week I was able to attend a talent show where my friend was going to be singing. Normally, I wouldn’t be able to get in since it was for the Disney College Program people, but my friend put me as a VIP. That’s not a normal thing I get very often, so when I was able to get in, get a lanyard and sit in the front row, my whole attitude felt very positive. I got to gush over my friend, Shanden, and his incredible voice and encourage him. After, I started thinking, I began to think about what Jesus said when he talked about how to treat others. The “golden rule” is well known, but not always followed. When we look at the life of Jesus, we see a man who chose to treat others like VIPs, treating others with love and encouragement. We are called to follow the example that Jesus set, so that means, we need to start treating others like the very important people they are.
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10
Being yourself is one of the hardest things. We are surrounded by people who either try to tell us how we should be or idolize the way someone else lives. We start to live in the stereotypes of every high school movie from the eighties, and then get lost in all the titles and expectations of these labels. The thing is, labels and stereotypes don’t work in real life. We live in the view of who we should be, and we then lose who we are. We can’t live trying to fit in. We have all been designed in unique ways- no one person is like someone else. Similarities, yes, but an exact copy, no. The reason I’m talking about this and the reason I think the concept of being you is so important, is because life is filled with unknowns. Our identity helps us weather this adventure.
Well, it’s finally here. In just a couple of days it will be Halloween, the candy will have been eaten and the spooks will settle down (unless you’re a spooky boy like me and it’ll last all year). Before that, we have one last post about fear and spooky b-movies. I want to finish off talking about fear with this one simple idea, when we live in fear, we live as slaves. We fear commitment because of hurtful relationships in the past. We live in fear because of the emotions going on in our heads. We live in fear of the unknown and not having the life plan we desire. We live in fear that we will fade away and that no one will remember us. These fears enslave us, but when we choose to fight fear with love, we become free.
I think it’s important to talk about mental health. For a long time, mental health had a stigma around it, meaning that whenever it was brought up is was hushed or just treated like something you needed to just “get over.” What has happened now though, is that these stigmas are starting to break, which is a good thing. We need to be okay to talk about our struggles and in turn, get help for them. That’s what we’ll be looking at today, ways to focus your heart. Too often we forget to take care of ourselves, and I mean that from a mental perspective. You might be dealing with some struggles, old heartache, or maybe you don’t even know where these “low” feelings are coming from. It’s easy to try and brush it aside or pretend like it’s not real, but it is real. Our mental wellbeing is important, thought we don’t address it in our lives. This is coming from someone who has heavy anxiety. I’ve written about my battle before in a post I called, “My Battle with Anxiety.” That will give you some context and help you if you are dealing with this same battle, but today I want to talk about something incredibly important, addressing the problem in order to be free.
One of the scariest situations to be in, is a new place where you know no one. Growing up, I didn’t move a lot, but I was put in situations where I had to meet new people all the time. I grew up in a church where there were a lot of kids, went to a bunch of homeschool groups then a real school, there were continual moments growing up where I found myself faced with people I had no clue about. That can be very intimidating. What if they don’t like me? What if they make fun of me? What if no one wants to be my friend? These questions are based in a real fear that we experience, but often, we let that fear control us. I had to learn early on that I sometimes had to do the scary thing first and get scared later, that meant putting myself out there a lot and not knowing what would stick.
I am now twenty-five years old. That’s kinda weird to think about. I really love birthdays, it gives me a chance to reflect and dream about what can happen during this next phase of my life. Last year was really awesome, I talked about that in my post a couple weeks back; the biggest part was starting a new adventure with my dearest Danielle! As much as it was awesome, there were some challenges outside of that moment. I still deal with some of the rejection I faced, the knowledge that people who wronged me will never apologize gets me angry. I’ve struggled with anger for a long time, and if you’ve met me hopefully you wouldn’t think that. I learned a long time ago that anger feels very empty, it’s often just a reaction with no thought of the consequences that could come. I believe anger comes from fear. Our expectations and emotions were switched and we are filled with fear deep down as a result, then we get angry.
Anger is empty, love is fulfilling.
Here we go. It’s time to light those fall scented candles and watch Beetlejuice; it’s officially autumn. One of my favorite things to do during this time, is write about horror movies and Jesus. Yes, strange combo I know, but it’s been an October tradition for me since forever. As you can see from my blog name, I am quite the fan of b-movies. The term comes from the old nickelodeons that would have an “a” movie, that was the big one people came to see, and the “b” movie, the second flick that had a little more of a low budget. Now, why am I talking about it, I think we can learn from anything, and movies teach me so much.
It’s crazy to think that a year ago I stepped into the best decision I’ve ever made. A year ago, on September 22nd, the hottest day of the year, I got to be married to my best friend. It’s now been an entire year, and what a wild ride it has been! The best part of this year has been the moments I’ve been able to share with my dear Danielle. Shortly after we got married, life didn’t ease up. There was a lot of fear, not with each other and our relationship, but the storms of life that seemed to pop in. I talked last week about the importance of storms in our life as the produce growth. This is sort of a part two, last week looking at the principals, and this week opening up about how Danielle and I have been able to see God’s faithfulness in the midst of the crazy. Life is funny that way, it’s not like a movie where there is a beginning, middle, and end, but a continual journey we are all on.
I was inspired by an Instagram post by So Worth Loving today. There was a picture that said, “no rain, no flowers.” Isn’t that just a beautiful thought? There are times where we just spin our wheels, and feel as if we are getting nowhere. We get tired, we grow weary, and we just simply feel worthless. It’s those rainy days where you just don’t want to keep going. The truth is, and this is the truly beautiful sentiment, without rain, we never get to see the flowers bloom. When it comes to our lives, there are hard days. Maybe you’re physically exhausted or mentally drained, but some days are just difficult. In these moments, don’t lose sight of the finish line. Don’t let the worries or feelings of inadequacy prevent you from stepping into your potential. Without the rain, or the storms, there are no flowers.