The Quiet Beauty of Christmas

A little bit ago at this point, we had a small amount of snow come to North Carolina. By snow of course I mean a wintery mix of rain and “snow,” but that’s not the point. What I always love about these moments, is the beauty that comes. I was able to be outside at night and just listen to the snowfall and watch the little bits of it build up around the Christmas lights on the house, it was wonderful, and in this quiet moment, I was able to reflect on all of the joys that I have in my life.

I adore these quiet moments of Christmas, whether it’s the sound of laughter from Violet playing, nothing but the light of the Christmas tree in the living room after everyone is asleep, or the sounds of wrapping paper covering gifts as dear Danielle and I sit on the floor of our room. To me that’s the magic and it reminds me of the importance to embrace the quiet moments in our lives.

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What Are You Worshipping?

I’ve been thinking about worship a lot recently, part of that because of how nice it has begun to feel outside again. There’s something wonderful about the way the mornings are chilly and the breeze begins to blow more throughout the day. I definitely find myself in the summer months of North Carolina avoiding the outdoors from July and August, but this weather has been perfect. When I’m outside, I definitely feel closer to God, there’s a magical feeling of the fresh air, the growth around me, and the noises of distant birds singing a song.

I used to think about worship in a singularly defined way; it always took place in a room with a good sound system, dim lights, and a band that stayed on pace with Ableton…but obviously that just isn’t true. That’s a very surface level view of worship, because really worship isn’t about music, worship is about who you are humbling yourself and submitting to.

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Thank You for Loving Me

I think life is a lot of learning from mistakes. We are all constantly growing, and part of those growing pains is learning from when we mess up. Sometimes we mess up only a little and sometimes it’s a big deal, but these are all moments for us to learn and mature. I never like holding on to something that someone has done to me in the past, because I don’t want people to hold on to the things I have done to them in the past. It’s a thing called grace and forgiveness, and it’s what Jesus modeled for each of us during His time one earth. Jesus chose to love everyone, even the people who would betray and kill Him. Even His last moment on the cross, Jesus cried out to God to forgive the people because they did not know what they were doing (Luke 23:34). That kind of love is the same love that is freely given to you and me.

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house on the rock

I love building Duplo towers with my nephew. Most of the time I start playing with the blocks, when Gideon comes over to help. Immediately, the goal is not to make a house or some kind of vehicle, the goal is to use every single piece and make the tallest tower. It’s the best, but there is a point where the tower starts to shake. Gideon loves to see how tall we can make it, but the strength of the tower is not there, we don’t focus on the foundation, all that matters is that we make the tallest tower. I love when we use the last piece then let go, only to see the tower fall and break everywhere. His reaction is always priceless, and then we start the process over again.

I love this as an illustration for life. Often, we want to be seen, noticed, and affirmed so we do all we can to rise to the top. Standing out is all that matters right? What happens in this moment though, is we forget to make a solid foundation, we don’t try to support our Duplo tower, we just push ourselves to be seen. I know in my life, this has been true, I just want to stand out and for people to affirm me, but sacrificing a strong foundation will only lead to an eventual crash.

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i will rejoice

Every so often I like to re-read the book of Habakkuk. I read it because often I find myself in the same place as Habakkuk, he was a prophet and watching the world around him fall into chaos. Habakkuk is watching an army invade the land of his people, and he starts to lose hope in what God is doing. He starts to lose faith in God.

I love this book because it is such a raw emotional place, and in that state, Habakkuk cries out to God in hopes of finding his faith in the midst of uncertainty. In my own life, I find that there are seasons of unknowns and growth, and in those moments, it becomes increasingly difficult to have faith that there is a plan in all of this. What I love about this scripture, is that Habakkuk turns to God in his struggle.

Feelings are okay. Talking to God about your feelings is okay. Being vulnerable with God, is the point of a relationship with God.

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Keep Moving Forward and Do It With Love

Some days are harder than others. For each of us, we go through seasons that often bring change, and the change doesn’t always feel great. There are times when we have been pushed into a new unknown, but all we want to do is head back to what is comfortable. The hard part is, without moving forward, there is no growth. I know for me, I get so caught up in the future and wanting to be in the place where I feel like I’ll have “made it,” that I forget the immediate and the opportunities to love other where I am. Last week I talked about having the reaction of love with others, but today I want to talk about loving yourself.

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Fanning the Flames of Faith

“I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God did not give you a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline.” 2 Timothy 1:6-7

I’ve recently started enjoying making fires. Let me explain that when I say this, I’m meaning fires in fireplaces, I have always respected Mr. Smokey Bear. Being able to create a fire in a fireplace, starting small and then building up into a fire that can warm a space is calming for me. What I’ve been able to see is that there is a key element in burning, you can’t suffocate the fire and you need to fan the flames. Fanning the flames allows for oxygen to enter into the mix, and fire can only burn if oxygen is present. I have been reading through Paul’s letters and I have begun to love the way Paul encourages Timothy. Timothy is a part of the next generation of leaders and Paul is pouring into his life, encouraging him to remain faithful even when life seems tough.

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Reflection and Growth

“Now we see only a dim likeness of things. It is as if we were seeing them in a foggy mirror. But someday we will see clearly. We will see face to face. What I know now is not complete. But someday I will know completely, just as God knows me completely.”

1 Corinthians 13:12

Two things keep sticking in my mind over the past year; reflection and growth. The start of the year, dear Danielle and I chose the word, “lover,” to be the word we would focus on and attribute to our mindset. Little did we know that this would be tested as everything changed in a crazy way. I am so thankful that we chose this mindset, because this year dealt with a lot, and there was a lack of love all around. I was ready for a year of busyness and wanted to focus on how to love better, but what happened was a year of resetting rhythms. I am thankful for that reset, I’m thankful for the time or reflection over the past and a growth towards what may be next.

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You are Worthy

“But here is how God has shown his love for us. While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

-Romans 5:8 (NIRV)

Three years ago, I wrote a post called, “Made Worthy.” It was during a time that God started putting the idea over my heart that we are all made by him, and that meant we were worthy of love. That was during a season where I felt clarity, and to be honest, I can’t remember what specific time I was referring to. The thing that makes me laugh about that, is that I was certain I had a plan, but the reality was, my clarity was coming from understanding my worth. This has been a battle I face on a daily basis; my worth has been a stronghold that Satan has set up in my mind. Yeah, that sounds like a plot to some medieval story, and it sort of is. I have battled this idea that I am not worthy of love or the time of others. I know this isn’t true, yet at the same time, I let this fear creep in a control my actions. It normally manifests in a need for the approval of others, and it used to be so hard to not switch up my personality.

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Journey Update: The New Year & Loving More

This past year has been one of the busiest and chaotic years to date. As you might know, my monthly posting schedule has been completely thrown out during December. Working a theme park is fun, but working during the holidays and as a new ride opens, it started to become more like hell for a few weeks. Kind of a fitting way to end a chaotic year with a bit more chaos on top. I’ve learned to adapt very quick over this year. It began with me not having my main youth pastor job, and my dearest Danielle and I searching for what was next. With an open door and a need to push ourselves out of our comfort zone, we made the move down to Orlando for Danielle’s Disney College Program. While job searching, I found myself processing a lot of hurts, my pastoring position wasn’t just a job; I had invested in the lives of a ton of students, so when I was let go, I didn’t really know what to do.

I didn’t belong, and I felt like I was letting those students down or abandoning them.

It felt like my purpose was pulled away, I had gotten wrapped up in a place and lost sight that no matter where God had me, I had purpose.

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