not too short to save

Sometimes I have a hard time in prayer. Not that praying itself is hard, but sometimes it feels like the things I deal with are either way too massive in my head or feel incredibly small. I want to pray that I see the doors as God opens them and that I follow after the path that I know I have been called into, but it just feels so big and so unknown. It’s not specific, there’s not always a yes or no answer needed for clarity. Then, there are the little things, bumps in the road that happen daily, and there is always a moment of, “does God really care about the small stuff?”

Over the past year there have been massive prayers that many of us have had. Prayers over safety, healing of loved ones, and figuring out how to provide. There have also been small things that we deal with, that sometimes give us a guilt factor of wondering if compared to the pandemic, I should even be coming to God about this.

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i will rejoice

Every so often I like to re-read the book of Habakkuk. I read it because often I find myself in the same place as Habakkuk, he was a prophet and watching the world around him fall into chaos. Habakkuk is watching an army invade the land of his people, and he starts to lose hope in what God is doing. He starts to lose faith in God.

I love this book because it is such a raw emotional place, and in that state, Habakkuk cries out to God in hopes of finding his faith in the midst of uncertainty. In my own life, I find that there are seasons of unknowns and growth, and in those moments, it becomes increasingly difficult to have faith that there is a plan in all of this. What I love about this scripture, is that Habakkuk turns to God in his struggle.

Feelings are okay. Talking to God about your feelings is okay. Being vulnerable with God, is the point of a relationship with God.

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Faith (Full)

Welcome back to my blog! It’s been a couple of weeks, and that’s been due to a busy moment in life, starting a new batch of classes, settling into our new space, as well as battling my own mental health. Life is always in flux, moving and changing constantly, and many times we can adapt, but there will be moments where adapting breaks. We become unfamiliar with the new rhythms that show up, and often this leads to confusion and cloudy heads. I’m being a bit honest today, not in order to gain your sympathy, but to help you know that it’s okay to not be okay.

This season in particular has showed most people that life is in flux. I like to laugh with dear Danielle about how everything shutting down gave us a minute to breathe, because the majority of our marriage has been the art of shifting and changing with the new environments that present themselves in our lives. The goal of life is not to find the easiest route, it’s about growing and changing into who you are called to be.

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Passions / Purpose

Being back in school has been a bit of a weird thing. I’m fully online, getting my Masters in Divinity, which has been exciting as ministry (in whatever form it may take) is what I want to pursue. In these online classes there are discussion boards, which means you have to write a post and then reply to other students. It’s the most encouraging platform, because every reply you make and made on your posts agrees with you and says, “this was a really great post!” You feel like a million bucks on every discussion board.

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Relational Foundation

Hello again, my lovely readers! I decided to take a week off, because everything seems to be happening all at once. The end of my first half of my masters and moving into a new apartment, dear Danielle and my life has been surrounded by boxes and planning. Luckily, I am now writing from our office space here, and though surrounded by boxes of our lives, I am grateful for this continued journey. Whenever I move I tend to get introspective, and I was thinking about the road of life. New places and faces, and the unknown ahead of you, all while never turning out the way we might think. If I’m honest, these are hard moments for me; I would love my life to play out exactly the way I want, to have a house with space to host people and to write all day with dear Danielle, but life doesn’t move like that. It moves on how God chooses to direct us.

That’s what I have to remind myself and it’s what gives me hope in all that I don’t know yet, that everything begins on a foundational relationship.

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Healthy Growth

It’s now almost been two full months into this new year, how are your goals doing? It’s easy to be excited about growing and changing at the start of the year, but typically this is right about the time that those goals and pursuits begin to slow. So, how are you doing? Checking in on yourself is important because growth is important. I’ve found for me, I want to do all kinds of things and push myself into this person I think I should be, but often those standards are unattainable, so when I fail to hit that mark, I choose to stay complacent. There is a myriad of reasons why goals fail and a myriad of books to help with that, but I think the important part is understanding the “why” behind the goals.

We want to grow into better people, but we need to make sure we are growing in a healthy way.

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What Is Your Motivator?

Motivation can be incredibly hard some days. What helps you get through the day and wake up excited? Sometimes that motivation seems to leave us and cause us to hit our snooze button more than we’d like. Maybe you’re in a season like me where you have passion, but just aren’t sure where to go next. Without solid motivation, we find distractions way more appetizing. Getting up for school is way harder to be motivated for, but when it comes to the last day of school and summer vacation in our grasp, we practically leap out of bed. So, how can we get that summer vacation motivation in all areas of our lives? What is your motivator that drives you forward?

The simple answer to attaining this excitement that drives you: Love.

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Love First

February is always a fun season. You get to see all sorts of pink Valentines stuff that no one really needs, unless it’s the heart shaped Reese’s candy. It’s a season of love, the end of the winter season is around the corner and we remember being in class and getting those great little paper notes. Love is so much more than this, it can often just be seen as the romantic, but the reality is that love is so much more than feelings toward another person, it is an action and one that should be our first choice.

I’m struck by how little love there is around us.

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Journey Update: Setting the Right Goals for the New Year

Another year has passed, and it may just have been one of the most eventful years. For me, heading into this new year, much like my previous new year reflections, was how I can use what I learned to create strong goals for this year. Last year I wanted to be more creative and do more, but what I learned is that in order for me to be the best I can be, I need to know who I am. I found that when the world shut down, I was given time to process my past in order to grow into where I feel called. It was a year to grow and a year with set aside time for that growth.

With this new year, I have more goals, and I want to make sure they are the right goals for the new year.

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Peace: The Blessing of Uncertainty

I am continually amazed by how terrifying life feels. It never seems like there is a clear direction, and as much as I would love for someone to show up and tell me what I need to do, this has never seemed to be the case. Maybe it would be to bizarre for me to understand the plan, or maybe my current way of thinking hasn’t gone through the growth it needs to experience the plans of the future. Last week I talked about the reflection and growth that comes with the new seasons, looking back at the blessings of what brought you here. The thing is, it brings us to now, and what do I do now?

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