Iβve made a ton of mistakes. You ever wake up at night and think about a time you said something you shouldnβt have, or reacted in a way you know wasnβt right? Or maybe there are things that people have said about or done to you, and you just canβt seem to find freedom? I think we all have faced moments like this, and itβs really difficult to move forward. Whatβs even worse is there are often people in our lives who wonβt let us get away from that past, even when we have grown from it. I remember for a long time, people I went to high school with I would see occasionally through college, and even a little after graduating. Itβs sometimes awkward because they still remember a version of me that has changed. We all change and grow, yet somehow, bad days can start to define who we are.
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Wrestle with God
Iβve recently been reading through Hebrews. This is an interesting and powerful book to look at, especially where my life is at currently. Thereβs a ton of unknowns and struggles that I have to face, it can be hard to trust God in the midst of a storm. In Christian culture, it can feel wrong to question whatβs going on in our lives, we have this idea that we can never wrestle with our circumstances. That we canβt cry out to God asking him where he is or why he isnβt acting in this situation. Like itβs some sin to struggle. Iβve heard of some Christians looking down on others because they arenβt having enough faith in this situation. Enough faith? Weβre supposed to support one another, not look down because we think weβre better than other believers. Jesus wouldnβt want us to pride ourselves on putting our fellow believers down when they were struggling, he would want us to support and love. Why is this even a thought that we have in the first place though? Iβve been feeling down on myself based on this misconception, am I not a βgoodβ Christian because I ask God why heβs doing what heβs doing? The truth is, this is a lie. Hebrews chapter 11 justifies this because it shows people who lived by faith. They were recorded for their great faith, but every single one of them wrestled with God.